I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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