Someone shit on the floor
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
as a side note pls kill me
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
