god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
