lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
