I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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