I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
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