carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
