maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
