sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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