So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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