Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
