i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize