Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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