then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
