I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize