I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
