I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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