worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
