That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
