no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
