$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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