I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
