who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Randomize
