I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
