butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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