Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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