Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She's just so happy...and so naked.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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