Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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