your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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