I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
We are two peas in an std pod
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
