he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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