I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Randomize
