He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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