if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
No more Irish car bombs ever.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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