All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
