i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
