WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
