please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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