Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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