Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
