My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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