Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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