True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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