i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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