Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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