do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
