i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize