Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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