I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I puked a lego.
i would punch a child for taco bell
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize