go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
