"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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