Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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