GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
