I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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