I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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