Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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