I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
