the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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