I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
